海倫·凱勒自傳《我的生活》第67期
I have also seen him in "The Rivals." Once while I was calling on him in Boston he acted the most striking parts of "The Rivals" for me. The reception-room where we sat served for a stage. He and his son seated themselves at the big table, and Bob Acres wrote his challenge. I followed all his movements with my hands, and caught the drollery of his blunders and gestures in a way that would have been impossible had it all been spelled to me. Then they rose to fight the duel, and I followed the swift thrusts and parries of the swords and the waverings of poor Bob as his courage oozed out at his finger ends. Then the great actor gave his coat a hitch and his mouth a twitch, and in an instance I was in the village of Falling Water and felt Schneider's shaggy head against my knee. Mr. Jefferson recited the best dialogues of "Rip Van Winkle," in which the tear came close upon the smile. He asked me to indicate as far as I could the gestures and action that should go with the lines. Of course, I have no sense whatever of dramatic action, and could make only random guesses; but with masterful art he suited the action to the word. The sigh of Rip as he murmurs, "Is a man so soon forgotten when he is gone?" the dismay with which he searches for dog and gun after his long sleep, and his comical irresolution over signing the contract with Derrick—all these seem to be right out of life itself; that is, the ideal life, where things happen as we think they should.
我還在《對手》中看到過他的表演。記得有一次我曾在波士頓拜訪過他，而他特別爲我表演了《對手》中最精彩的情節。我們見面的會客廳被當做一個臨時舞臺，他和他的兒子一起坐在一張大桌子旁邊，而鮑勃·埃克斯則書寫着他的戰表。我用雙手追隨着他的每一次移動，捕捉着他滑稽可笑的肢體語言——在某種程度上，這種“語言”是無法通過拼寫的方式傳情達意的。終於，他們進行了最後的決鬥。我感覺到了雙劍擊刺閃避時的鋒芒，還有鮑勃搖搖晃晃的身形；可憐的鮑勃勇氣漸失，他的鬥志已經在指端消解殆盡。接着，這位偉大的演員猛地拉下自己的戰袍，雙脣止不住地抽搐。轉瞬之間，我就置身在瀑布村，而且觸摸到了施奈德那毛髮蓬鬆的頭正抵着我的膝蓋。傑弗遜先生背誦了《裏普·梵·溫克爾》中的精彩對白，這是一段笑中含淚的感人情節。他還詳盡地向我介紹了手勢和形體應該步調一致的舞臺表演經驗。當然，無論是多麼生動的表演，我全都一無所知，我所能做的只是胡亂猜想而已。但是，他精湛的藝術功力使他賦予表演以生命力，正如他所沉吟的裏普的慨嘆：“死去的人兒怎麼這麼快就被人遺忘？”在經歷了長眠之後，他懷着失魂落魄的心情尋找他的狗和獵槍，而且，他猶豫不決地同德裏克簽訂合約的舉動也十分可笑——所有這些似乎都脫離了生活本身的意義。換句話說，理想的生活狀態，應該是依照我們所認定的方式而發生的。I remember well the first time I went to the theatre. It was twelve years ago. Elsie Leslie, the little actress, was in Boston, and Miss Sullivan took me to see her in "The Prince and the Pauper." I shall never forget the ripple of alternating joy and woe that ran through that beautiful little play, or the wonderful child who acted it. After the play I was permitted to go behind the scenes and meet her in her royal costume. It would have been hard to find a lovelier or more lovable child than Elsie, as she stood with a cloud of golden hair floating over her shoulders, smiling brightly, showing no signs of shyness or fatigue, though she had been playing to an immense audience. I was only just learning to speak, and had previously repeated her name until I could say it perfectly. Imagine my delight when she understood the few words I spoke to her and without hesitation stretched her hand to greet me.
我十分清楚地記得我第一次到劇院看戲時的情景，那是十二年以前的事了。艾爾希·萊斯利，就是那位兒童演員，她當時也在波士頓，她和蘇立文小姐帶我去看她在《王子與乞丐》中的演出。我永遠也不會忘記這出感人的小話劇，尤其是悲喜交加的劇情和兒童演員的精彩表演。演出結束後，我被允許到後臺見識一下她的王家裝束。我得說，你很難找到一個像萊斯利這麼惹人喜愛的小孩了，尤其是當她面帶微笑，頂着一頭如雲般飄逸垂肩的金髮默默佇立時，你更感到妙不可言。她絲毫沒有流露出膽怯或者疲憊的跡象，儘管她所面對的是臺下的一大羣觀衆。那時我只是剛開始學習講話，於是我預先把“萊斯利”的名字重複了一遍又一遍，直到我能通順自如地說出口。想象一下，當她聽懂了我對她說的幾個詞語，並且毫不猶豫地伸出手來向我問候時，這該是多麼令人高興的事啊。Is it not true, then, that my life with all its limitations touches at many points the life of the World Beautiful? Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.
因此，難道不可以這樣說——我的生命正是帶着它所有的侷限性，從許多角度來感受世間萬物之美的嗎？每一種事物都有它的神奇之處，即使像黑暗和寂靜這樣的事也不例外。而且，我已經領悟到了生活的真諦，所以無論身處何境，我都會欣然面對。
Sometimes, it is true, a sense of isolation enfolds me like a cold mist as I sit alone and wait at life's shut gate. Beyond there is light, and music, and sweet companionship; but I may not enter. Fate, silent, pitiless, bars the way. Fain would I question his imperious decree, for my heart is still undisciplined and passionate; but my tongue will not utter the bitter, futile words that rise to my lips, and they fall back into my heart like unshed tears. Silence sits immense upon my soul. Then comes hope with a smile and whispers, "There is joy in self-forgetfulness." So I try to make the light in others' eyes my sun, the music in others' ears my symphony, the smile on others' lips my happiness.
有時候，一種與世隔絕的無助感也會將我裹挾，如同將我拋進一股寒冷的霧靄當中，我孤獨地坐在那道關閉的生命之門面前苦苦等待。門的那一邊有光明，有樂音，有甜蜜的友情；但是我卻無法進入。苦難、沉寂、冷酷的命運之手將我擋在門外。於是，我不得不對它（命運）那專橫的天條質疑，因爲我仍有一顆恣肆昂揚而充滿激情的心。但是，我的舌頭將不會發出苦難的聲音。當徒勞的話語到達嘴邊的時候，它們就會像尚未流出的眼淚一樣再次退卻到我的心房，無邊的寂靜壓在我的心頭。這時希望就會微笑着竊竊私語：“喜悅存在於忘我之中。”於是，我努力把我心中的太陽照耀進別人的眼中，把我心中的交響樂在別人的耳中奏響，把我的快樂鐫刻在別人的臉龐上。
