和妹子約會時,給你的十大建議(1)

When you starting dating someone new, the possibility always exists that your budding relationship could lead to a permanent commitment. Given this possibility, you want to leave nothing to chance about your future or that of your family if you and the girl you have begun dating get married or have children together. As you contemplate whether or not to ask her out, you should know these 10 things about a girl before dating her.

當你與某人開始約會時，初識的怦然心動漸至日久情深，最終你可能就這麼被拖進了婚姻的墳墓。鑑於這一可能性，如果你與這個女孩可以修成正果從此走上人生巔峯，那麼你一定不想在未來的某個日子裏突然“被小三”或者“喜當爹”。所以，在考慮要不要約她出去前，請務必瞭解以下10件關於這個女孩的事情。

tionship Status

10.男女關係情況

This tip may seem rather obvious; however, some ladies may not be upfront with you about their real relationship status. They could be wanting to start an illicit affair behind their partner or spouse's back. They also may be on a relationship hiatus, but not fully available for a long-term commitment because of the possibility that their former boyfriend or spouse wanting to get back together. Either way, taking the time to pose this question to a girl that you are interested in dating can save you future heartache and emotional turmoil later. You should not assume that this girl will want to be with you exclusively even if she is in a romance with someone else.

這則貼士的含義顯而易見，然而，有些女人可能不會對你坦白她真實的感情狀況。她們可能只是想揹着配偶來段婚外戀，或是正處於感情空窗期，還抱有前男友或前夫會回頭的幻想,想來段不以結婚爲目的的戀愛。不管是哪種情況，你都有必要花點時間跟你的意中人聊聊這些問題，這樣可以避免日後出現令人頭疼的局面或感情的變數。如果你的意中人正跟別人熱戀，那你就別幻想着她有朝一日能死心塌地跟你在一起啦。

In fact, as silly as it may seem, you would fare well to ask a girl that you want to ask out if she is seeing or dating anyone exclusively. If she answers that she is seeing someone else, but open to dating you, you may proceed with caution and gauge your time with her accordingly to avoid any romantic complications. If she answers that she is not in a relationship with anyone, you can then proceed as you normally would in a new dating situation. When you have this information upfront, you can can figure out if asking her out is worth your time and effort.

事實上，詢問你想勾搭的女生是否名花有主似乎是一件很愚蠢的事情。如果她回答說自己正和別人談着，但也可以給你個機會，那麼你就得謹慎行事，併合計一下你們可以約會的時間。若是她表示現在還是單身狗，那麼你就可以照常開展一段新的戀情。在正式開始約會前瞭解這些信息，你就知道該不該爲了這段戀情付出時間和精力了。

It can be difficult to know if someone is available for dating exclusively or not if you are not friends with this person or in that individual's same circle of acquaintances. In this situation, you should trust your gut instincts and look for signs that this person may be dating someone else in addition to you. Further, if you both are new to each other, you should proceed slowly and get to know that person very well before taking your romance to the next level.

如果你不是她的朋友，或只是與她的朋友圈有所交集，要了解她是否有戀人其實是一件很難的事情。在這種情況下，你應該相信自己的直覺，尋找她與別人約會的蛛絲馬跡。長遠的來說，在你倆還不熟的時候，別陷進這段感情，不妨先放慢進度，相識相知方可水到渠成。

9.年齡

Good manners dictate that a man should never ask a woman about her age. However, if you are unsure whether or not she is a minor, it is always best to err on the side of good judgment instead of good manners. Each state has different age of consent laws, which puts you at risk of committing a felony if you become seriously involved with someone who is underage. If the girl you want to ask out looks like she could be under the age of consent in your state, you should ask how old she is to protect yourself legally.

有教養的男人是永遠不會向女士詢問年齡的。然而如果你不確定她是否已成年，比起保持風度矜持不問，還是“失禮”地堅守自己理性的判斷較爲明智。各州的法律對年齡的規定都不盡相同，這就導致你若是與未到法定年齡的女孩糾纏不清，會面臨觸犯重罪的危險。如果你想約的女孩看上去很“嫩”，即有可能未達到你所在州的法定年齡，爲了避開“雷區”，你還是問一下女孩的年齡吧。

Again, you can get this information from outside sources if you and she belong to the same circle of friends or acquaintances. However, if you are both unknown to each other, it would not be out of place to explain to her your concerns and gently insist that you be assured of her age before asking her out. If she refuses, you can chalk up her denial of your request as her loss rather than yours. If she agrees and shows you an identification card or some other proof of her age, you can take it as a sign that she is perhaps flattered and willing to go out with you after all.

同理，你和她有共同好友或是朋友圈有交集的話，也可以從這些外來資源中獲取你想要的信息。當然啦，你倆之前沒有交集的話，那就得向她說明你的擔憂並委婉地堅持一下自己的立場：爲了保險起見，還是得先問清年齡再考慮約會的事。如果她拒絕回答，那麼你要堅信她拒絕你的請求就是她的損失。如果她同意回答並給你看了身份證或任何可以證明她年齡的證據，這就表明她在討好你，也很樂意跟你約會。

It is well known in today's media that young girls lie about their ages all the time to get the attention of older teenage boys and men. Rather than get into a legal mess that could alter your future in devastating ways, you should make it a point to make sure that the girl you want to date is truly above that age of consent mark in your state. If she works with you or goes to college, for example, you can safely assume that she is of legal age. However, if you both are unknown to each other and meet by a chance encounter, you must use other tactics to ensure that this girl is genuinely and legally available for dating.

衆所周知，在現今的傳媒生活中，小姑娘們爲了吸引心智成熟的男性，總是會謊報自己的年齡。你應該時刻牢記，確保你想約的女孩的真實年齡超過所在州規定的年齡，如若不然，你將陷入一場法律糾紛，自毀前程。如果她是你同事或是校友，那就不必擔心她的年齡問題了。但是你們倆若是意外邂逅的關係的話，那你還是得旁敲側擊，確保這個女孩達到法定年齡。

inal History

8.犯罪史

Your legal future may not solely be tied up in whether or not the girl you are interested in is above the age of consent. It also may depend on what kind of criminal history she has. In the perfect scenario, the girl you want to date would have a clean criminal record and not even the slightest traffic infraction on it. However, statistics show that more people than ever have at least one arrest on their record, giving way to the chances that the girl you want to ask out has some sort of criminal past.

未來你想沒有麻煩也許不僅僅和你約會的女孩年齡相關，也取決於她有什麼樣的犯罪史。最好是你想約會的那個女孩很清白，甚至連交通違章都沒有過。然而，數據表明，比以前更多的人都至少有一條被捕記錄，所以你想要約會的女孩如果有犯罪記錄，還是給她個機會吧。

If the infraction was minor, such as speeding or littering, it more than likely will have little bearing on your possible future with her. However, if she has previously been arrested for drug possession, DUI, identity theft, assault, or some other serious charge, she may compromise your future significantly if you and she forge ahead with a relationship. Many people who have arrest records find it difficult to get a job, secure housing, and live a normal life after they have been released from jail or probation. Her inability to get a job or even approved for an apartment could leave you with the security you need to build a life with her.

如果是小違章的話，比如超速或者亂扔垃圾，對你的未來不會有什麼影響。然而，如果她之前因爲藏毒被捕，酒後駕車，身份盜竊，人身攻擊或者其他一些嚴重的指控，如果你執意要和她發展下去，可能會嚴重影響你的未來。大多有過逮捕記錄的人出獄後或在緩刑期間很難找到工作，住房得不到保障，無法過上正常的生活。她想給你安全感，卻連工作都沒有，房子也沒有，你還怎麼和她生活下去呢。

Further, depending on the nature of her crime and how well she has been rehabilitated, the possibility always exists that she could reoffend. You could inadvertently be putting yourself at risk of being an accomplice to her crimes or at least having knowledge about her behavior. You may be questioned by the police and cast in a suspicious light, which puts the burden on you to prove your own innocence. Before you ask out the girl you are interested in, you should verify if she has a criminal background. You can do this by researching online or checking the county court records in your city.

此外，根據她犯罪的性質以及她洗心革面的程度，她再犯的可能性是一直存在的。你可能面臨成爲她犯罪同夥的危險或者至少你該她的行爲有所認知。你會被警察傳訊，並一直在警方懷疑之列，想證明自己是清白的就難了。在你想約感興趣的女孩之前，你應該查清她是否有犯罪記錄。可以通過網上調查或查詢你所在城市的地方法院記錄。

審校：小飛俠 編輯：Freya然 校對：丸子