因爲愛情:此時此刻他就存在我的生命裏
In November 2009, Brandy Trammell became a homeowner. As she moved into her new house in Laurel, it seemed as though her life was all set up: She had her own place, friends and family nearby, and a speech therapy career that was flourishing.
2009年11月，Brandy Trammell成爲有房一族。她搬進了她在Laurel的新屋，彷彿她的生活都已經安頓好了：她有她自己的地方、朋友和附近的家人，以及一個蒸蒸日上的言語治療事業。But it seemed that the guy she always dreamed of sharing her life with was just that — a dream. With every man she dated, something was missing.
但似乎她一直夢想的和她一起分享生活的他，還只是一個夢想。每次和她約會的男人，總少了點什麼。“So I felt that he didn’t exist. This idea that you’re going to find somebody that doesn’t have that tragic flaw — I really felt that I was going to have to settle,” she says.
“所以我覺得那個他是不存在的。關於你會找到一個沒有那些悲催缺點的人的想法- 我真覺得我將不得不解決，”她說。
The day after Thanksgiving, Trammell sat in her bedroom — the only furnished room in the house — and logged on to eHarmony. She’d had a membership for months but hadn’t logged on since she’d signed up.
感恩節之後的一天，Trammell坐在臥室裏，屋裏裏唯一裝修過的房間，登錄到eHarmony。她成爲會員幾個月了，但自從她註冊之後從未登錄過。Bored, she scrolled through the profiles of men who’d reached out to her and responded to a few. Almost instantly, Vincent Russell wrote back.
無聊透頂，她瀏覽着那些向她發出邀請的男人的簡介，並對幾個作出了迴應。幾乎是瞬間，Vincent Russell回覆了。Russell was visiting family in Norfolk and got Trammell’s message on his smartphone. His friends often joked that he’d been an old man for a long time. He started working full time at 18, putting himself through a computer information degree at American University. He hated dating, and it sometimes seemed as if he’d gone out with “every horrible woman in Washington,” trying to find the right one. He wanted a partner who was ready to settle down, have a family and stay in on Saturday nights.
Russell在諾福克探親，並在他的智能手機上獲得了Trammell的消息。他朋友經常開玩笑說他成爲一個老男人很長一段時間了。他18歲開始全職工作，歷經磨練獲得美國大學計算機信息的學位。他討厭約會，有時好像他已經和“華盛頓每一個可怕的女人”約會過，試圖找到那個對的人。他希望一個願意安定下來的伴侶，有一個家庭，並在週六晚上待在家裏。
After trading messages, Russell called Trammell. They spoke for hours. He called again the next day, and the two made plans for the next Thursday.
交換信息後，Russell給 Trammell打了電話。他們談了幾個小時。他第二天再次打了電話，兩人爲下週四做了計劃。She was uncharacteristically late for their date in Silver Spring, and he nearly left. When she arrived, she was immediately turned off: He was in work clothes and didn’t have any of the facial hair he’d had in online photos.
對他們在Silver Spring的約會她一反常態晚遲到了，他差一點就離開了。當她到達時，她立即失去興趣：他穿着工作服，沒有網上照片中的任何一點鬍鬚。Over dinner she gave him a hard time, challenging him on various points to see whether he would stand up for what he believed in. “Because I had dated guys who were complete pushovers,” she explains. “And I didn’t want someone who’s always like, ‘Oh yeah, you’re right.’ ”
吃飯時，她沒有給他好臉色，在不同方面挑釁他，看他是否會爲他的信仰站起來。“因爲和我約會過的傢伙都是泛泛之輩，”她說。“我不想要一個人總是，‘哦，對，你說得對。’”At a pool hall after dinner, she off-handedly said they should dance when the song “I Call Your Name” by Switch came on. She was shocked, and a little giddy, when he called her bluff and took her hand to dance.
晚飯後在臺球廳，當切換到歌曲《我輕喚你的名字》時她立即說他們應該跳舞。當他說她虛張聲勢並拉着她的手跳舞時，她驚呆了且有點暈眩。A week later, he showed up at the movies in casual clothes and with facial hair grown in. Trammell warmed up quickly and tried to show him as much, putting her hand on his leg in the theater. But when it came time to say goodbye, he walked away awkwardly. “Vincent!” she yelled. He came back, asked for a do-over and kissed her.
一個星期後，他穿着休閒服臉上長着鬍鬚地出現在影院，Trammell迅速升溫，並試圖儘可能多地向他暗示，在劇院時她把她的手放在他腿上。但是，當要說再見的時候，他笨拙地走開了。“文森特！”她大叫。他返回來，要求一個過分的舉動，於是吻了她。And from then on, she says, “he just really made himself present in my life.” He called every time he said he’d call, and always showed up when he said he would. “I knew from the beginning he was not playing around,” she says. “He was planning on getting to know me and making this happen.”
從那時起，她說，“他真的就那樣讓自己出現在我的生命中。”他說他會打電話來那他每次就會打電話來，當他說會出現時總是會出現。 “從一開始我就知道他不是隨便玩玩，”她說。 “他打算去了解我，讓一切發生。”After two weeks, he asked whether he could be her boyfriend. “Already?” she responded. But when he asked again on Christmas, she said yes.
兩個星期後，他問他是否可以成爲她的男友。 “現在就？”她回答。不過，在聖誕節時他又問了一遍，她同意。“I felt like she could potentially be the one I was looking for,” Russell, 30, explains. “And I wasn’t seeing anyone else, so I was like, ‘Might as well make it official!’ ”
“我感覺她可能就是我一直在尋找的那個人，”30歲的Russell說。“我沒有在和其他任何人約會，所以我想，'不如讓它正式吧！’”But the next couple of months were not as smooth as they’d hoped. She is verbose, and he’s succinct. And while she often tries to swallow issues that are bothering her, he prefers to be direct. As they had their first few fights, neither felt sure the relationship would last. But by March, they’d figured out how to communicate and could sense each other’s dedication.
但接下來的幾個月並不像他們所希望的那樣順利。她是囉嗦的而他很簡潔。雖然她經常試圖嚥下困擾她的問題，但他更希望直接一點。由於他們前幾次爭吵，他們一個也並不確定這段戀情是否會持久。但到了3月，他們解決了如何溝通的問題，並能感受到對方的奉獻。“He’s a committed guy. He was completely in, and I respected and appreciated that,” Trammell, 31, says. “I hadn’t felt that from someone that I felt the same way about.”
“他是一個重承諾的傢伙。他完全投入，我對此尊重和理解，”31歲的Trammell說。 “我以前沒有從一個人那裏感受到我同樣感受到的那些。”In October, he invited her to join him on a vacation in Chile. Normally a planner, Trammell was persuaded to let him take the lead. “That was the first time I had to let go and really trust in him,” she says. “I’m very used to co-piloting, so that really solidified our relationship.”
10月，他邀請她和他一起去智利度假。通常情況下，規劃師Trammell要被說服讓他帶頭。“這是第一次我不得不放手，真正信任他，”她說。 “我非常習慣共同主導，所以那真正鞏固了我們的關係。”In January 2011, they popped into a jewelry store to try on rings. Trammell thought an engagement was imminent. As months ticked by without a proposal, she tried to push it from her mind. That July, they went to Hawaii to visit friends. At the top of a mountain overlooking Waikiki, he got down on one knee and asked her to be his wife.
2011年1月，他們突然出現在一家珠寶店嘗試戒指。Trammell認爲訂婚迫在眉睫。幾個月過去了也沒有求婚，她試圖把它從腦海中抹去。同年7月他們去夏威夷看望朋友。在山頂俯瞰威基基，他單膝跪地，請她做他的妻子。On Sept. 30, they exchanged vows in the courtyard of 2941 Restaurant in Falls Church. The couple once again danced to “I Call Your Name,” and their 100 guests celebrated by singing karaoke.
9月30日，他們在瀑布教堂2941餐廳的院子裏交換了誓言。這段戀人再次隨着歌曲《我輕喚你的名字》起舞，他們的100位客人唱着卡拉OK慶祝。“I had braced myself for a future with someone I could tolerate,” Trammell told Russell during the ceremony. “Oh, you were a welcome surprise! The man for me exists and stands right before me. I need not tolerate you. In fact, I feel incomplete without you.”
“我已經和一個我能忍受的人一起擁抱未來，” Trammell在儀式上對Russell說。 “哦，你是一個驚喜！屬於我的那個人存在着並站在我面前。我不僅需要容忍你。事實上，沒有你我覺得不完整。”
