狄更斯雙語小說:《董貝父子》第52章
But the very intensity of his purpose became almost a substitute for action in it. While he was yet uninformed of the traitor's retreat, it served to divert his mind from his own calamity, and to entertain it with another prospect. The brother and sister of his false favourite had no such relief; everything in their history, past and present, gave his delinquency a more afflicting meaning to them.
The sister may have sometimes sadly thought that if she had remained with him, the companion and friend she had been once, he might have escaped the crime into which he had fallen. If she ever thought so, it was still without regret for what she had done, without the least doubt of her duty, without any pricing or enhancing of her self-devotion. But when this possibility presented itself to the erring and repentant brother, as it sometimes did, it smote upon his heart with such a keen, reproachful touch as he could hardly bear. No idea of retort upon his cruel brother came into his mind. New accusation of himself, fresh inward lamentings over his own unworthiness, and the ruin in which it was at once his consolation and his self-reproach that he did not stand alone, were the sole kind of reflections to which the discovery gave rise in him.
It was on the very same day whose evening set upon the last chapter, and when Mr Dombey's world was busiest with the elopement of his wife, that the window of the room in which the brother and sister sat at their early breakfast, was darkened by the unexpected shadow of a man coming to the little porch: which man was Perch the Messenger.
'I've stepped over from Balls Pond at a early hour,' said Mr Perch, confidentially looking in at the room door, and stopping on the mat to wipe his shoes all round, which had no mud upon them, 'agreeable to my instructions last night. They was, to be sure and bring a note to you, Mr Carker, before you went out in the morning. I should have been here a good hour and a half ago,' said Mr Perch, meekly, 'but fOr the state of health of Mrs P., who I thought I should have lost in the night, I do assure you, five distinct times.'
'Is your wife so ill?' asked Harriet.
'Why, you see,' said Mr Perch, first turning round to shut the door carefully, 'she takes what has happened in our House so much to heart, Miss. Her nerves is so very delicate, you see, and soon unstrung. Not but what the strongest nerves had good need to be shook, I'm sure. You feel it very much yourself, no doubts.
Harriet repressed a sigh, and glanced at her brother.
'I'm sure I feel it myself, in my humble way,' Mr Perch went on to say, with a shake of his head, 'in a manner I couldn't have believed if I hadn't been called upon to undergo. It has almost the effect of drink upon me. I literally feels every morning as if I had been taking more than was good for me over-night.'
Mr Perch's appearance corroborated this recital of his symptoms. There was an air of feverish lassitude about it, that seemed referable to drams; and, which, in fact, might no doubt have been traced to those numerous discoveries of himself in the bars of public-houses, being treated and questioned, which he was in the daily habit of making.
'Therefore I can judge,' said Mr Perch, shaking his head and speaking in a silvery murmur, 'of the feelings of such as is at all peculiarly sitiwated in this most painful rewelation.'
Here Mr Perch waited to be confided in; and receiving no confidence, coughed behind his hand. This leading to nothing, he coughed behind his hat; and that leading to nothing, he put his hat on the ground and sought in his breast pocket for the letter.
'If I rightly recollect, there was no answer,' said Mr Perch, with an affable smile; 'but perhaps you'll be so good as cast your eye over it, Sir.'
John Carker broke the seal, which was Mr Dombey's, and possessing himself of the contents, which were very brief, replied, 'No. No answer is expected.'
'Then I shall wish you good morning, Miss,' said Perch, taking a step toward the door, and hoping, I'm sure, that you'll not permit yourself to be more reduced in mind than you can help, by the late painful rewelation. The Papers,' said Mr Perch, taking two steps back again, and comprehensively addressing both the brother and sister in a whisper of increased mystery, 'is more eager for news of it than you'd suppose possible. One of the Sunday ones, in a blue cloak and a white hat, that had previously offered for to bribe me - need I say with what success? - was dodging about our court last night as late as twenty minutes after eight o'clock. I see him myself, with his eye at the counting-house keyhole, which being patent is impervious. Another one,' said Mr Perch, 'with military frogs, is in the parlour of the King's Arms all the blessed day. I happened, last week, to let a little obserwation fall there, and next morning, which was Sunday, I see it worked up in print, in a most surprising manner.'
Mr Perch resorted to his breast pocket, as if to produce the paragraph but receiving no encouragement, pulled out his beaver gloves, picked up his hat, and took his leave; and before it was high noon, Mr Perch had related to several select audiences at the King's Arms and elsewhere, how Miss Carker, bursting into tears, had caught him by both hands, and said, 'Oh! dear dear Perch, the sight of you is all the comfort I have left!' and how Mr John Carker had said, in an awful voice, 'Perch, I disown him. Never let me hear hIm mentioned as a brother more!'
'Dear John,' said Harriet, when they were left alone, and had remained silent for some few moments. 'There are bad tidings in that letter.'
'Yes. But nothing unexpected,' he replied. 'I saw the writer yesterday.'
'The writer?'
叛逆者的兩個親屬--被他拋棄的哥哥和姐姐--這時候比被他傷害了的那個人更沉重地感受到他的罪惡的壓力。社會雖然喜愛刺探陰私，折磨人們，但是它卻激勵董貝先生去追尋和報復他的仇人。它激發他的憤怒，刺痛他的高傲，把他生活的一個觀念轉變成一種新的形式；解憤息怒就成了他全部思想活動的目的。他的性格中所有那些固執與難以改變的特點，它的所有那些難於接受他人意見的脾氣，它的所有那些陰沉與乖戾的特色，它的那種過分自尊自大的意識，它的所有那種容易猜忌的性情（別人對他的重要地位的充分尊重中有一點疏漏都會引起他的憤恨），都像許多溪流一樣，沿着這個方向，匯合成了一條大河，載着他沿着潮流前進。最暴躁易怒和感情衝動的人與處於這種狀態中的悶悶不樂的董貝先生相比，都顯得是一個比較溫和的敵人。一頭不馴服的野獸也要比這個佩戴着沒有一絲皺褶的領帶的莊嚴的紳士更容易阻攔和安撫。
不過他這種強烈的意圖本身幾乎就可以代替行動。當他還不知道叛逆者躲藏到什麼地方的時候，它幫助他轉移對他自己不幸的注意，而去思考其他方面的問題。他的奸詐的受他寵信的人的哥哥和姐姐卻沒有這樣的安慰。他們過去的歷史和現在的生活中發生的一切事情，使得他的罪行對他們來說有了一種更爲痛苦的意義。
姐姐有時可能會悲傷地想到，如果她像過去曾經一度那樣，作爲他的伴侶和朋友，和他住在一起的話，那麼他可能會避免犯下這樁罪行。如果她曾經這樣想過的話，那麼她仍然沒有悔恨過她做過的事情，絲毫沒有懷疑過她所盡的責任，也沒有評價或誇大過她的自我犧牲精神。可是當犯過錯誤、感到悔恨的哥哥有時想到有這種可能性的時候，這種想法卻重重地打擊着他的心，引起他尖銳的自我譴責，使他幾乎無法忍受。他從沒有對他殘酷的弟弟的不幸報復性地感到幸災樂禍。這一事件暴露以後，在他內心所引起的活動僅僅是重新譴責自己，再一次爲他自己過去的卑劣行徑默默哀嘆；與他共同承受這一厄運的不是他單獨一人，這既給他帶來安慰，又引起他的自責。
就在我們在上一章敘述過它的晚上的情況的同一天，當董貝先生所屬的上流社會正滿城風雨地傳播着他妻子私奔的消息，哥哥和姐姐正坐在房間裏吃早飯的時候，窗外突然閃過一個意料不到的人影，正向小小的門廊裏走來，這人就是信差珀奇先生。
“我今天大清早就從鮑爾斯池塘出發到這裏來了，”珀奇先生說道，一邊帶着祕密的神氣往房間裏面探望，同時在門口的擦鞋棕墊上停下腳步，仔細地擦着鞋子，其實鞋上並沒有什麼泥土，”這是遵照我在昨天夜裏接到的命令。我奉命在您今天早上出門之前一定得把這封短信交給您，卡克先生；要不是珀奇太太身體不好，我本應當在一個半鐘頭以前就到達這裏的，”珀奇先生溫順地說道，”說實在的，這一夜我有五次幾乎要失去她。”
“您的太太病得這麼厲害嗎？”哈里特問道。
“唔，您看，”珀奇先生首先轉過身去，把門小心地關上，然後說道，”我們公司裏發生的事情她太放在心上了，小姐。您知道，她的神經是很敏感的，所以很快就混亂了。不過，說實在的，只有最堅強的神經才能經受得起這種震驚。毫無疑問，您本人也一定會感到很憂傷的。”
哈里特忍住嘆息，向她的弟弟看了一眼。
“說實在的，儘管我是一個微不足道的人物，可是我還是感到很難過，”珀奇先生搖了一下頭，繼續說道，”如果不是命中註定我得親身經歷這種事情的話，那麼就連我自己也難以相信我會這麼難過。它對我的影響幾乎就像喝酒一樣。每天早上我都感到彷彿我在頭天夜裏喝過了頭似的。”
珀奇先生的外貌證實了他所敘述的症狀，他有一種由於發燒而引起的倦怠的神色，那似乎都是杯中物所引起的。事實上，追根溯源，是因爲他多次去酒吧的緣故。人們在那裏款待他，向他問各種問題，他已養成每天都要上酒吧去的習慣。
“所以，”珀奇先生又搖了搖頭，用清脆的低語說道，”這件最令人痛苦的事件暴露以後，我不能判斷那些處境特殊的人們的感情。”
這時珀奇先生等待着聽推心置腹的回答；他沒有聽到這樣的回答，就用手遮着嘴巴咳嗽；這沒有引起什麼反應，他就用帽子遮着嘴巴咳嗽；這也沒有引起什麼反應，他就把帽子放在地上，在懷裏掏那封信。
“如果我記得不錯的話，這是不要求回覆的，”珀奇先生露出和藹可親的微笑，說道，”不過，也許您肯費神看一遍吧，先生。”
約翰?卡克拆開信封，這是董貝先生的來信，內容十分簡短，他看過以後，回答道，”是的，不要求回覆。”
“好，那就祝您早上好，小姐，”珀奇往門邊走了一步，說道，”同時希望您多多保重，別因爲最近這令人痛苦的事件過分悲傷。報紙，”珀奇先生又走回兩步，用更爲神祕的低語，同時向姐弟兩人說話，”急巴巴地想要得到新的消息，急得你們難以想象。有一份星期天出版的報紙派來的人，披着藍色的斗篷，戴着白色的帽子，（他曾經想用這兩件東西來收買我，用不着說，他哪能成功呢？），昨天夜裏在我們院子裏游來晃去，一直到八點二十分鐘才走。我親眼看見他從我們公司營業所的鎖眼裏往裏面偷看，可是這鎖眼是取得專利的，根本看不見裏面的東西。還有一個人，”珀奇先生說道，”穿着軍裝，腰帶上有掛武器的圈環，整天都坐在‘國王的紋章’酒館裏；上星期我碰巧在那裏無意間講了一點話，第二天早上（那是個星期天），我看見它在報上令人十分吃驚地登出來了。”
珀奇先生又去掏他懷中的口袋，彷彿想要取出那段新聞來似的，但由於沒有得到鼓勵，所以就把他的海狸皮手套抽了出來，撿起帽子，離開了。不到正午，珀奇先生就已在‘國王的紋章’和別的地方向幾位挑選出來的聽衆敘述卡克小姐怎樣眼淚汪汪，放聲大哭，並握着他的手，說道，”啊，親愛的，親愛的珀奇，看到您是我唯一的安慰！”約翰?卡克先生則怎樣用一種可怕的說道，”珀奇，我和他斷絕關係了。永遠別再在我面前把他稱做我的弟弟了！”
“親愛的約翰，”當他們只剩下兩個人，而且沉默了幾分鐘之後，哈里特說道，”這封信帶來壞消息吧？”
“是的。但是沒有什麼意料之外的事情，”他回答道，”我昨天看到寫信的人。”
“寫信的人？”
