英語爆笑笑話帶翻譯摘抄
笑話是幽默的一種表現形式,通過闡述語用因素對英語笑話言語的作用機制,可以探索英語幽默話語的語用特徵和動態運行模式。下面小編整理了英語爆笑笑話帶翻譯，希望大家喜歡!
沉默誓言 (中英)
A middle-class man decides to go off and join a monastery, which requires an oath of silence. No speech is allowed except for two words every 5 years, to sum up one’s experiences to the head monk.
一箇中產階級男子決心遠離紅塵，去當修道士。每個出家的人都必須要立個沉默誓言，那就是每五年只允許說兩個字，作爲對這一段時間所經歷事情的總結。
After the first 5 years，the monk asked him what two words described his experiences and all he said was "HARD BEDS.”
第一個五年過去了，當修道士讓他用兩個字總結這五年的經歷時，那人說道“破牀”。
When the next 5-year period came the monk asked how things were and he replied: "BAD FOOD.”
又過了五年，當修道士再次問道他的時候，他回答“豬食”。
After 5 more years，he walked up to the monk and said，"I QUIT!”
第三個五年過後他對修道士說“放棄”。
The monk nodded and muttered，“Yes , this doesn't surprise me. You've been doing nothing but complaining for the past 15 years!”
道十點了點頭喃喃地說道:“果不出我所料，這十五年來除了抱怨以外你什麼也沒有做。”
英語爆笑笑話帶翻譯鑑賞場景 (中英)
Did you hear the one about the ethnic who came home and found his wife between the sheets with another man? Well，he pulls out a gun, saying,“ That’s enough! I’m going to put an end to this once and for all!” Then he puts the gun up to his head.
你有沒有聽說過有一個人，當他回到家後發現自己的妻子正和另一個男人在鬼混，他立刻拔出手槍喊到:“我受夠了!看來今天是要做一個了結了!”說完他將槍口對準自己的頭。
The unfaithful wife shouts, "Don’t do it! Don’t do it! Don’t kill yourself !” The enraged ethnic replies, "Shut up, bitch，because you're next!”
這時那個蕩婦喊到:“不，不要這樣，你可不能自殺呀!”那人聽了憤怒地吼道:“閉嘴，潑婦，下一個死的就是你!”
英語爆笑笑話帶翻譯賞析疼痛之極 (中英)
A construction worker was rushed to the hospital after cutting himself badly. The doctor told the nurse to prepare a painkiller. "Don’t bother Doctor," said the man. "I' ve been through a lot worse."
一個傷痕累累的建築工人衝進了一家醫院，醫生馬上讓護士去拿止痛藥，“不必麻煩您了，醫生。”那人說道，“比這更痛的傷我都經歷過了。”
"More painful than this?" the doctor asked.
“比現在的傷還要痛嗎?”醫生問。
"I’11 tell you about the second most painful accident I ever had. I was hunting one day and had to take a shit so I dropped my pants and squatted. I tripped a bear trap and BOOM，the thing snapped shut on my balls."
“我先說說讓我感到還不是最痛苦的那件事吧，一天我在打獵的時候突然想要大便，於是就脫掉褲子蹲在地上，不料被捕熊的夾子絆倒了，那東西夾住了我的皋丸。”
The doctor winced, "That’s awful. But tell me, what could be worse?"
醫生聽後顫抖了一下，說道“太可怕了，那告訴我什麼又是最痛苦的事呢?”
"When I reached the end of the chain."
“當我摸到鎖鏈盡端的時候。”
英語爆笑笑話帶翻譯欣賞與上帝爲伍 (中英)
A farmer purchases an old，run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields are grown over with weeds，the farmhouse is falling apart，and the fences are collapsing all around.
一個農民買了一塊破舊荒廢的農場，他準備把這塊農場變成興旺的園林。然而目前這塊地是雜草叢生，房屋破舊不堪，四周的籬笆也是東倒西歪。
During his first day of work，the town preacher stops by to bless the man’s work，saying, "May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!”
在他第一天工作的時候，城裏的一個傳教士給他送去了祝福:“願上帝與你一起實現你的夢想吧!”
A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer. I}ok and behold，it’s like a completely different place-the farmhouse is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition，there are plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens，and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows.
幾個月以後，那個傳教士又一次來到農場，快看那，這裏與上次相比簡直是天壤之別。房屋重新修好了，條件也比以前好多了，成羣的牛羊在歡快地吃着青草，地裏的莊稼也整整齊齊的排列着。
"Amazing!” the preacher says. "Look what God and you have accomplished together!"
“太神奇了”，傳教士驚呼道:“看那，上帝和你一起實現了你的夢想!”
"Yes, reverend,” says the farmer, "but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone!"
“沒錯，教士，”那個農民說道:“可你也要記住當初這個農場只由上帝一人支配的時候是個什麼樣子!”
