經典科幻文學:《 再見 多謝你們的魚》第36章2
So, said Arthur, hoping he wasn’t sounding ridiculously obtuse, why don’t people get rid of the lizards?
It honestly doesn’t occur to them, said Ford. They’ve all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they’ve voted in more or less approximates to the government they want.
You mean they actually vote for the lizards?
Oh yes, said Ford with a shrug, of course.
But, said Arthur, going for the big one again, why?
Because if they didn’t vote for a lizard, said Ford, the wrong lizard might get in. Got any gin?
What?
I said, said Ford, with an increasing air of urgency creeping into his voice, have you got any gin?
I’ll look. Tell me about the lizards.
Ford shrugged again.
Some people say that the lizards are the best thing that ever happened to them, he said. They’re completely wrong of course, completely and utterly wrong, but someone’s got to say it.
But that’s terrible, said Arthur.
Listen, bud, said Ford, if I had one Altairan dollar for every time I heard one bit of the Universe look at another bit of the Universe and say “That’s terrible” I wouldn’t be sitting here like a lemon looking for a gin. But I haven’t and I am. Anyway, what are you looking so placid and moon-eyed for? Are you in love?
Arthur said yes, he was, and said it placidly.
With someone who knows where the gin bottle is? Do I get to meet her?
He did because Fenchurch came in at that moment with a pile of newspapers she’d been into the village to buy. She stopped in astonishment at the wreckage on the table and the wreckage from Betelgeuse on the sofa.
Where’s the gin? said Ford to Fenchurch. And to Arthur, What happened to Trillian by the way?
Er, this is Fenchurch, said Arthur, awkwardly. There was nothing with Trillian, you must have seen her last.
Oh, yeah, said Ford, she went off with Zaphod somewhere. They had some kids or something. At least, he added, I think that’s what they were. Zaphod’s calmed down a lot you know.
Really? said Arthur, clustering hurriedly round Fenchurch to relieve her of the shopping.
Yeah, said Ford, at least one of his heads is now saner than an emu on acid.
Arthur, who is this? said Fenchurch.
Ford Prefect, said Arthur. I may have mentioned him in passing.
“那麼，”阿瑟說，並且希望自己聽起來並不遲鈍得可笑，“人爲什麼不把蜥蜴趕走？”
“說實話，他們沒想過。”福特說，“他們都有投票權，所以他們都很相信自己投票選出來的政府多少會接近於他們所想要的政府。”
“你是說他們真的投票給蜥蜴？”
“啊對，”福特聳聳肩說，“當然了。”
“可是，”阿瑟又要問重要問題了，“爲什麼？”
“因爲如果他們不投票選一個蜥蜴的話，”福特說，“那就會由另一個錯誤的蜥蜴掌權。有杜松子酒嗎？”
“什麼？”
“我是說，”福特的聲音中有一種漸漸加強的緊迫感，“你有沒有杜松子酒？”
“我看看。跟我說說那些蜥蜴。”
福特又聳聳肩。
“有人說蜥蜴是他們遇到一切中最好的了。”他說，“他們當然完全錯了，完全徹底錯了，可是總得有人這麼說。”
“可那樣太糟糕了。”阿瑟說。
“聽着，夥計，”福特說，“如果每次我看到宇宙中的一份子看着宇宙中另一份子說‘那太糟糕了’的時候能都有一牽牛星元的話，我就不會坐在這裏像一個檸檬一樣去找一杯杜松子酒。但是我沒有，而且我在這兒。管他呢，你爲什麼看起來這麼鎮定，看着還像得了月盲症一樣？你戀愛了？”
阿瑟說是的，他戀愛了，說的非常鎮定。
“你愛上的人知道杜松子酒瓶在哪兒嗎？我是不是得見見她？”
他是得見，因爲芬切琪這時候走了進來，拿着她去鎮上買來的報紙。她看到桌子上一堆破爛，沙發上一堆破爛之後吃驚地停下來。
“杜松子酒在哪兒？“福特對芬切琪說。又對阿瑟說：“另外，崔莉恩怎麼了？”
“呃，這是芬切琪，”阿瑟難堪地說，“崔莉恩沒什麼事，你肯定會看到她的。”
“哦對了，”福特說，“她和贊福德去什麼地方了。他們有了幾個孩子什麼的。至少，”他補充說，“我是這麼想的。贊福德平靜下來了，你知道。”
“真的？”阿瑟說。他走到芬切琪身邊幫她拿買回來的東西。
“是的。”福特說，“他至少有一個腦袋現在比嗑了藥的食火雞清醒。”
“阿瑟，這位是誰？”芬切琪說。
“福特·長官，”阿瑟說，“我以前應該說起過他的。”
