讓你初次約會取得完勝的十大關鍵(上)

So you've worked up the courage to ask someone out on a date. Or better yet, you've graciously accepted someone else's offer to take you out. Congratulations! Now you're filled with a strange mixture of excitement and dread. You're excited to enjoy a night out on the town, and you're excited at the prospect of meeting someone new and potentially finding your Mr. or Mrs. Right. However, at the same time, you're scared of all the things that could go wrong. What if it's impossible to carry a conversation? What if the two of you have nothing in common? What if I don't make a good first impression? What if you say, wear or do the wrong thing? Luckily for you, we have compiled the top ten tips for a perfect first date. So take a deep breath, relax, and read on to find out how to impress your guest. Follow these tips and you can be sure that you'll be scheduling a second date before the night is over.

你終於鼓起勇氣把某人約出來了！或更好的情況：你欣然答應了某人的邀約！那麼恭喜你啦！現在你的心情肯定既激動又緊張。華燈初上，夜景迷人，此情此景，讓你歡呼雀躍，你渴望認識一些新朋友，甚至找到你的真命天子或真命天女。但同時，你又害怕事情發展得並不那麼順利。如果話題中斷了怎麼辦？如果你和對方沒有共同話題怎麼辦？如果你沒有給對方留下好印象怎麼辦？如果你說錯話，穿錯衣服或做錯事了怎麼辦？看到這篇文章，是你有福了，我們整理了十條打造完美初次約會的貼心提示！所以請深呼吸，放輕鬆，耐心看文，肯定有一條建議讓你心動，記憶深刻。如果你照着以下建議做了，說不定你當晚的約會還沒結束，對方就會與你相約下一次見面。

tion, Location, Location

10.地點決定成敗

The first step to setting up the perfect first date is choosing the perfect location. When picking a venue, try to learn a little bit about your date first. A hike might be a really fun first date for someone adventurous who loves the outdoors, but a high-maintenance person may loathe the experience. You can often garner clues to what someone would enjoy from friends, social media, or even the way that someone dresses and presents themselves.

打造完美初次約會的第一步，就是要選擇最佳約會地點。選擇約會地點前可以試着多瞭解一下你的約會對象。對那些喜歡戶外運動，喜歡冒險的人來說，遠足是一個非常不錯的選擇。但對一個養尊處優的人來說，他可能會厭惡這項活動。你可以從約會對象的朋友、社交網站，甚至是他/她的穿衣風格和表現自我的方式來蒐集他/她的相關信息。

Incorporating a fun activity into your date can be a great way to keep things interesting. Depending on the personality of you and your date, consider visiting a museum, an aquarium, a theater, a sporting event, a local music show, or an art gallery. These options all provide the perfect blend of meaningful conversation and pleasant distraction. You could also incorporate some physical activity into your date. You can visit a driving range, a mini-golf course, an ice skating rink or a bowling alley. The low-stress environment will help you both feel relaxed and comfortable, and the friendly competition can light a spark between you and your date. Having an activity built into the date also gives you something to focus your attention on when conversation lags. Of course, a nice dinner out is always a classic date-night choice. The right restaurant can provide you with a romantic and quiet setting which gives you an opportunity to spend the evening talking and getting to know each other. You may be tempted to choose a favorite restaurant that you are familiar with, but think about being adventurous and trying somewhere out of the ordinary that neither of you has been to. The new, shared experience will be something that you can bond over. Whatever location you choose, be sure to run the idea by your date first. You don't want to make reservations at a Brazilian Steakhouse only to learn that your date is a vegetarian.

在你們的約會中安排有趣的活動，不失爲一個不錯的方法，可以讓你的約會順利進行。基於你和約會對象的性格，考慮是去博物館，水族館，電影院，體育場，還是音樂廳，或者藝術館。以上選擇都可以提供讓你們話題不斷，愉快地消遣。你也可以在約會中安排一些體育活動。你們可以去高爾夫練球場、迷你高爾夫球場、溜冰場，或是保齡球場。這些低壓力的環境會讓你們感到輕鬆和舒適，並且友好的比賽會在你和約會對象之間擦出火花。體育活動還可以讓你們在沒話聊的時候有事可幹。當然，和約會對象享受一餐豐盛的晚宴通常也是經典的晚間約會選擇。選擇正確的餐館會給你們營造浪漫和安靜的氛圍，還會提供你們瞭解彼此的機會。你可能想選一個經常光顧且鍾愛的餐館，但是不妨大膽嘗試一下你們倆都沒去過的地方。共同的經歷將會是加深你們情感的要素。不管你選擇什麼樣的地點，首先一定要考慮到約會對象。如果你的約會對象是個素食主義者，你就不要想着預定巴西牛排餐廳了。

's Company

9.兩人成伴

The best first dates have an intimate and private interaction that involves only two people. The worst first dates are those that include your friends, family, children, colleagues or other important people in your life. By including people who are close to you, your companion will feel like they are at an audition rather than a date. That's a lot of pressure for somebody who you've just met. It may be tempting to ask your date to a house party that your friend is hosting or a gallery opening that your sister is featured at, but it's not a good idea. Your first date needs to be a time when you focus on getting to know each other without any outside distractions. If the two of you click, there will be plenty of time down the road for your family and friends to meet him or her.

最完美的初次約會是隻屬於兩個人的親密交流。最糟糕的初次約會是帶着你的朋友、家人、孩子、同事或其他對你來說重要的人。如果約會中有和你關係近的人蔘與，你的約會對象會覺得談話不便，不像個約會。對那些你才認識的人來說，他們會感到壓力很大。如果你邀請約會對象去你朋友主持的家庭聚會，或者你妹妹的畫廊展覽，可能會有點吸引力，但是並不是一個好主意。在第一次約會中，你們應該心無旁騖的瞭解對方。如果你們倆一拍即合，接下來你的家人和朋友會有很多機會見他/她。

s for Success

8.制勝穿搭

On a first date, first impressions are everything. Whether you like it or not, how you present yourself in terms of your wardrobe and personal grooming make an immediate impression upon people. Your dress will be used to make a snap judgment, good or bad, on you as a person. That is why it's so important to put careful thought into the image you will convey on your date.

對於第一次約會而言，最重要的就要屬第一印象了。不論你情願與否，那些從衣櫥裏精心挑選出來的衣服和自己悉心描畫的妝容都會影響他們對你的第一印象。你的穿着直接就會影響到他們對你本人人品是好還是壞的判斷。這下你就知道約會前，仔細考量個人形象有多麼重要了吧！

Don't get dressed for a date in an outfit that you would never normally wear. Stick to your own personal style, or else you'll be uncomfortable in your own skin throughout your date. If you are a jeans and tee type of gal, don't show up for a date in a skin-tight leopard-print dress. Instead, pair your favorite jeans with a killer pair of heels and a flowing top. You'll be more comfortable and you'll be showing a true sign of your personality. When in doubt, wear red. Numerous studies, including one in the European Journal of Social Psychology, have shown that men rate females who are wearing red as more attractive. Finally, when getting dressed, always remember how important it is to leave something to the imagination! If you're a guy who lives in khakis and polo shirts, don't show up at your date with a patterned button down dress shirt with cufflinks and a pocket kerchief. Instead, opt to wear your khakis with a simple white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up. This will help showcase your casual style while still showing that you put some thought and care into your date. Be yourself, because confidence is attractive. If you stay true to your personal style, you will also display a more accurate reflection of your personality. Regardless of what you decide to wear, it's important to make sure that you are well groomed. Make sure your nails are clean and trimmed, get your facial hair or eyebrows in check, and spritz on your favorite fragrance. When applying cologne or perfume, remember that less is more! Ladies, stick to your normal beauty routine. A first date is not the time to test out fake eyelashes or a finicky new hairstyle.

約會的時候，可千萬不要穿那種你平時都不會穿的套裝。保持你自己平日的風格就好了，不然，整個約會過程你渾身都不會舒服到哪兒去。如果平日裏你是一個走T恤牛仔休閒風的姑娘，約會的時候可就別穿什麼豹紋緊身裙啦！還不如穿上你最喜歡的牛仔呢，再配一雙酷酷的高跟鞋，戴一頂小帽子。不僅舒服的多，還能表現出你真實不做作的個性。如果你還是有所猶豫的話，就穿紅色吧！包括歐洲社會心理學雜誌在內的大量研究書籍都表明，男性認爲穿紅色衣服的女性更有魅力。最後小編還要說，換衣服的時候一定要時刻記着，你的穿着對於你的形象塑造格外重要！如果你是一個穿慣了卡其褲和polo衫的小夥子，約會的時候可就別穿什麼一板一眼有袖口有方巾口袋的襯衫啦！相反，穿上你的卡其褲，再配一個簡潔的白色禮服襯衫，隨意的將襯衫袖子捲起來吧。這不僅展示了你的休閒風格，也表明你對於這次約會是有想法和考慮的。做自己，自信的人是最有魅力的。忠於自己的風格，也會更準確的顯示出你的個人品質。當然咯，不管你最終決定要穿什麼，都一定要將自己梳妝打扮得好好噠！看看指甲是不是修剪乾淨啦，鬍子是不是刮乾淨啦，眉毛是不是修的得體啦，最後，別忘了噴上你最喜愛的香水。在用古龍水或其他香水的時候，切記，少即是多！美女們，化着你們日常的妝容就很美啦，第一次約會可不是檢驗你假睫毛和新潮髮型的時候！

Up the Conversation

7.避免冷場

A good conversation is an expertly balanced back and forth dialogue, where each person spends as much time listening as they do talking. When you're on a first date, it's important to be sure you aren't the one doing all the talking. If you relentlessly ramble on about yourself, your date will find you both narcissistic and boring. If you are at dinner and you realize the other person is almost done with their meal while you haven't barely made a dent in yours, then that's usually a good sign that you're talking too much.

完美的交談應該是能巧妙平衡來回交流的對話，當他人說話的時候，我們也要花盡可能多的時間去傾聽。第一次約會的時候，千萬記得不要做那個喋喋不休的人。如果你一直喋喋不休，你的約會對象一定會覺得你既自戀又乏味。要是在飯桌上，當你發現別人盤子裏的東西都快要吃光了，而你的食物還沒怎麼動的時候，這就意味着，你真的說太多話了。

Of course, you may end up sitting across from a date who is shy and reserved. You may only be rambling on because you're trying to fill gaping holes in the conversation. Instead, try a new tactic where you ask questions to draw them into the conversation. Show that you are interested and genuinely curious, and ask open-ended questions to help pull your date out of their shell. There are some tried and true conversation topics that can put you and your date at ease while giving you both a chance to learn about each other. Find out where your date has traveled, or ask if they have any upcoming vacation plans. Ask about their hobbies and relate some information about yours. Other great bonding topics include favorite sports teams, pets, books, movies and music. On a first date, be sure to steer away from controversial topics like religion, politics, or gossip about mutual friends or acquaintances.

當然，你也有可能和一位保守而害羞的對象面對面坐着約會。爲了防止對話太過空洞，你可能只能東拉西扯了。那麼，嘗試一種新的戰術吧，問一些能把他們吸引到談話裏的問題吧。在交談的時候，一定要表現出對話題既感興趣又好奇，不要停留在約會的固有模式中，記得問一些開放式的問題。在這裏給你提供一些屢試不爽的話題吧，不但可以使你的約會怡然自得，還可以給你們瞭解對方的機會。問問你的約會對象都去哪裏玩過，或者下個假期想去哪吧。或者問問她們的愛好，跟你有關的信息也行。還有一些特別好的話題，比如最支持哪支球隊啦，最喜歡什麼樣的寵物啦，最愛讀什麼樣的書啦，最常聽什麼樣的音樂啦，等等。這是你們的第一次見面，可千萬別問那些有爭議的問題，什麼宗教信仰、政治大事、介紹人或共同朋友的八卦真的是大忌。

Non-Verbal Cues

6.讀懂肢體語言

Humans have an endless amount of ways to communicate, and they don't always involve talking. Being able to read and react to nonverbal cues is extremely important on a first date. Body language can provide key insights into how someone is feeling, and it accounts for up to 55% of how we communicate.

人類有無窮無盡的交流方式，並不總是通過口頭說話。學會識別非口語提示在第一次約會中顯得極其重要。肢體語言是洞悉一個人感受的關鍵所在，它佔我們交流的55%。

If someone is enjoying their time with you, they will exhibit positive body language which can include moving or leaning closer to you, maintaining eye contact for a longer period of time, looking down and away out of shyness, and holding their limbs in an uncrossed, relaxed manner. If someone is uncomfortable on your date, they will exhibit negative body language which can include moving or leaning away from you, looking away to the side, rubbing the back of their neck, crossing their arms or legs, or standing with their feet pointed away from you. If you think that you are noticing some negative body language from your date, don't psych yourself out that it's not going well. People's comfort levels fluctuate frequently throughout a first date, and it is often simply due to anxiety and feelings of awkwardness and has nothing to do with their feelings for you. Take note of what types of conversation promote positive body language cues, and focus on similar topics. Similarly, take note of what your own body language may be conveying. If you are in an air-conditioned venue, you might have your arms wrapped tightly around you because you're cold, but your date may think that you are uninterested in them. If you are twirling your hair because it is a nervous habit, your date may mistake your body language for boredom.

如果某人享受和你在一起的時光，他們將會表現出積極的肢體語言。比如說，與你靠得更近，保持長時間的目光交流，因爲羞澀而向下看或轉移目光，以及將手臂以一種放鬆的姿勢擺放。如果你的約會對象與你約會時感到非常不爽，他們將展現出消極的肢體語言。比如說遠離你，將視線移至兩側，摸自己的後頸，交叉他們的雙臂，或者是腳尖朝向你遠遠地站着。如果你在約會中察覺到一些消極的肢體語言，不要暗自菲薄，悲觀地以爲進展不順。在第一次約會中，人們的舒適度自始至終都在經常性地起伏波動，它常常僅與尷尬的焦慮感有關，而非對你不滿。記住能夠帶來積極肢體語言的談話類型，並關注相關話題。同樣，要注意自己可能傳輸出去的肢體語言。如果你呆在一個空調房裏，你可能因爲寒冷而緊緊地抱住自己的手臂，但是你的約會對象很有可能會認爲你對他（她）不感興趣。如果你撩撥自己的頭髮，你的約會對象很有可能誤會你感到無聊。

審校：晃晃 編輯：旭旭 來源：前十網