狄更斯雙語小說:《董貝父子》第45章Part6

The proud undaunted face showed him it was resolute to wear no mask he offered, but was set upon a reckless disclosure of itself, indifferent to any aspect in which it might present itself to such as he.
'At least it was natural,' he resumed, 'that you should deem it quite possible to live with Mr Dombey as his wife, at once without submitting to him, and without coming into such violent collision with him. But, Madam, you did not know Mr Dombey (as you have since ascertained), when you thought that. You did not know how exacting and how proud he is, or how he is, if I may say so, the slave of his own greatness, and goes yoked to his own triumphal car like a beast of burden, with no idea on earth but that it is behind him and is to be drawn on, over everything and through everything.'
His teeth gleamed through his malicious relish of this conceit, as he went on talking:
'Mr Dombey is really capable of no more true consideration for you, Madam, than for me. The comparison is an extreme one; I intend it to be so; but quite just. Mr Dombey, in the plenitude of his power, asked me - I had it from his own lips yesterday morning - to be his go-between to you, because he knows I am not agreeable to you, and because he intends that I shall be a punishment for your contumacy; and besides that, because he really does consider, that I, his paid servant, am an ambassador whom it is derogatory to the dignity - not of the lady to whom I have the happiness of speaking; she has no existence in his mind - but of his wife, a part of himself, to receive. You may imagine how regardless of me, how obtuse to the possibility of my having any individual sentiment or opinion he is, when he tells me, openly, that I am so employed. You know how perfectly indifferent to your feelings he is, when he threatens you with such a messenger. As you, of course, have not forgotten that he did.'
She watched him still attentively. But he watched her too; and he saw that this indication of a knowledge on his part, of something that had passed between herself and her husband, rankled and smarted in her haughty breast, like a poisoned arrow.
'I do not recall all this to widen the breach between yourself and Mr Dombey, Madam - Heaven forbid! what would it profit me? - but as an example of the hopelessness of impressing Mr Dombey with a sense that anybody is to be considered when he is in question. We who are about him, have, in our various positions, done our part, I daresay, to confirm him in his way of thinking; but if we had not done so, others would - or they would not have been about him; and it has always been, from the beginning, the very staple of his life. Mr Dombey has had to deal, in short, with none but submissive and dependent persons, who have bowed the knee, and bent the neck, before him. He has never known what it is to have angry pride and strong resentment opposed to him.'
'But he will know it now!' she seemed to say; though her lips did not part, nor her eyes falter. He saw the soft down tremble once again, and he saw her lay the plumage of the beautiful bird against her bosom for a moment; and he unfolded one more ring of the coil into which he had gathered himself.
'Mr Dombey, though a most honourable gentleman,' he said, 'is so prone to pervert even facts to his own view, when he is at all opposed, in consequence of the warp in his mind, that he - can I give a better instance than this! - he sincerely believes (you will excuse the folly of what I am about to say; it not being mine) that his severe expression of opinion to his present wife, on a certain special occasion she may remember, before the lamented death of Mrs Skewton, produced a withering effect, and for the moment quite subdued her!'
Edith laughed. How harshly and unmusically need not be described. It is enough that he was glad to hear her.
'Madam,' he resumed, 'I have done with this. Your own opinions are so strong, and, I am persuaded, so unalterable,' he repeated those words slowly and with great emphasis, 'that I am almost afraid to incur your displeasure anew, when I say that in spite of these defects and my full knowledge of them, I have become habituated to Mr Dombey, and esteem him. But when I say so, it is not, believe me, for the mere sake of vaunting a feeling that is so utterly at variance with your own, and for which you can have no sympathy' - oh how distinct and plain and emphasized this was! - 'but to give you an assurance of the zeal with which, in this unhappy matter, I am yours, and the indignation with which I regard the part I am to fill!'
She sat as if she were afraid to take her eyes from his face.
And now to unwind the last ring of the coil!

高傲的、毫無畏懼的臉孔向他表明：她堅決不戴他所獻上的假面具，而準備不顧一切地暴露她的真實面貌；對於她在他這樣一個人面前會以什麼樣的面貌出現，她毫不在乎。
“至少這是自然的，”他繼續說道，”您認爲您完全可能作爲妻子跟董貝先生生活在一起，既不服從他，同時又不跟他發生激烈的衝突。可是，夫人，如果您這樣想的話，那麼您還是不瞭解董貝先生（正如從那時以來您所已確信的），您不瞭解，他的要求是多麼苛刻，他是多麼高傲，或者，如果我可以這麼說的話，他已成爲他自己高貴身份的什麼樣的奴隸，像一匹馱獸一樣，被套在他自己的凱旋車中，向前走着，心中只有一個念頭，就是凱旋車就在他的身後，需要他越過一切，穿過一切向前拉。”
當他繼續說下去的時候，他的牙齒由於惡意地品嚐着這種高傲自負的滋味而閃發出亮光。
“董貝先生確實不能真正關懷您，夫人，就像不能真正關懷我一樣。這樣的對比是走到極端了--我故意作這樣的對比--，但卻是十分正確的。董貝先生運用他的赫赫權勢，要求我成爲他和您的中間人，這是他昨天親口對我說的；他提出這個要求是因爲他知道我不是您所喜歡的人，是因爲他有意使我成爲您抗拒他的一種懲罰，而且還因爲他確實認爲，我是由他支付薪金的一名奴僕；接見像我這樣的一位使者，並不是有損於一位我有幸與她談話的夫人的尊嚴（在他的心目中並不存在這樣一位夫人），而只不過是有損於成爲他本人一部分的他的妻子的尊嚴而已。您可以想象，當他直率地告訴我，把這個任務交給我來辦的時候，他是多麼不尊重我，多麼不考慮我是否還有個人的情感或意見啊。您知道，當他用這樣一個傳話人來威脅您的時候，他對您的感情是多麼完全漠不關心啊。當然，您沒有忘記他做過的事情。”
她仍然專心致志地注視着他。但是他也注視着她；他看到，他對他所知道的她跟她丈夫之間發生的某些事情的這番暗示，像一支毒箭一樣，刺傷了她傲慢的心胸，使它疼痛。
“我回顧這一切並不是想要擴大您和董貝先生之間的裂口，夫人，--上天不允許！這對我有什麼好處呢？--而只不過是想舉例說明，當涉及到董貝先生的時候，要想使他心裏考慮考慮別人，是多麼沒有希望的事情。我敢說，我們這些在他周圍的人，都在不同的地位上，盡了我們的一分力量，來加強他的這種思想方法；可是如果我們不這樣做，其他的人也會這樣做，要不然他們不會待在他的周圍。從一開始，這一直是他生命的要素。總之，董貝先生只跟那些順從他的人、依賴他的人打交道，這些人在他面前俯首聽命，屈膝下跪。他從來不知道跟他對抗的憤怒的高傲與強烈的怨恨是什麼。”
“可是現在他將會知道了！”她好像要這麼說，雖然她的嘴脣沒有張開，她的眼睛沒有閃動。他看到，那柔軟的絨毛又一次顫抖了；他看到，她把那隻美麗的鳥兒的翅膀在胸前放了片刻；他從他蜷縮進去的線圈中又放出了一圈線。
“董貝先生雖然是一位極爲可敬的紳士，”他說道，”但是當他心裏所想的不符合實際的時候，他卻動不動歪曲事實，按照他自己的觀點來進行解釋。比方說，--我能舉出比這更好的例子嗎？--在斯丘頓夫人逝世以前，他有一次對他現在的妻子曾經提出過嚴厲的意見（她可能會記得這一次吧），他真心相信（請原諒我將說出的話是多麼愚蠢；它們並不是由於我的愚蠢而說出的），他的這些意見已經產生了使她畏縮的效果，他那時已使她完全屈服了！”
伊迪絲大笑起來。用不着去描寫那笑聲是多麼刺耳，多麼缺乏優美的聲調。只要說他喜歡聽到她笑，這就足夠了。
“夫人，”他繼續說道，”我這就說完了。您本人的見解是那麼卓越，而且我相信，是那麼不可改變，”他慢吞吞地，加重語氣地重複着這些話語，”所以當我說，儘管董貝先生有這些缺點，我也很瞭解這些缺點，但我對他已逐漸習慣，而且尊敬他的時候，我幾乎擔心這又要引起您的不高興了。但是，請相信我，我這樣說的時候，我並不是爲了要在您面前誇耀一種跟您本人的感情完全格格不入、也不會博得您同情的感情，”--啊，這是說得多麼清楚、明白啊，還加重了語氣呢！--”而是爲了使您確信：在這件不幸的事情中，我是您多麼熱誠的奴僕，我對要求我來扮演的角色是感到多麼憤慨啊！”
她彷彿害怕把眼睛從他臉上移開似地坐着。
好，現在該把線圈中的最後一圈放出去了！