諾貝爾文學經典:《寵兒》第4章Part 11

And O my people they do not love your hands. Those they only use, tie, bind,chop off and leave empty. Love your hands! Love them. Raise them up and kiss them. Touchothers with them, pat them together, stroke them on your face 'cause they don't love that either.
You got to love it, you! And no, they ain't in love with your mouth. Yonder, out there, they willsee it broken and break it again. What you say out of it they will not heed. What you scream fromit they do not hear. What you put into it to nourish your body they will snatch away and give youleavins instead. No, they don't love your mouth. You got to love it. This is flesh I'm talking abouthere. Flesh that needs to be loved. Feet that need to rest and to dance; backs that need support;shoulders that need arms, strong arms I'm telling you. And O my people, out yonder, hear me, theydo not love your neck unnoosed and straight. So love your neck; put a hand on it, grace it, stroke itand hold it up. And all your inside parts that they'd just as soon slop for hogs, you got to love dark, dark liver — love it, love it, and the beat and beating heart, love that too. More than eyes or feet.
More than lungs that have yet to draw free air. More than your life holding womb and your life-giving private parts, hear me now, love your heart. For this is the prize." Saying no more, she stoodup then and danced with her twisted hip the rest of what her heart had to say while the othersopened their mouths and gave her the music. Long notes held until the four-part harmony wasperfect enough for their deeply loved flesh.
Sethe wanted to be there now. At the least to listen to the spaces that the long-ago singing had leftbehind. At the most to get a clue from her husband's dead mother as to what she should do with hersword and shield now, dear Jesus, now nine years after Baby Suggs, holy, proved herself a liar,dismissed her great heart and lay in the keeping-room bed roused once in a while by a craving forcolor and not for another thing.
"Those white things have taken all I had or dreamed," she said, "and broke my heartstrings too. There is no bad luck in the world but whitefolks." 124 shut down and put up with the venom of itsghost. No more lamp all night long, or neighbors dropping by. No low conversations after watched barefoot children playing in the shoes of strangers. Baby Suggs, holy, believed shehad lied. There was no grace-imaginary or real — and no sunlit dance in a Clearing could changethat. Her faith, her love, her imagination and her great big old heart began to collapse twenty-eightdays after her daughter-in-law arrived.
Yet it was to the Clearing that Sethe determined to go — to pay tribute to Halle. Before the lightchanged, while it was still the green blessed place she remembered: misty with plant steam and thedecay of berries.
She put on a shawl and told Denver and Beloved to do likewise. All three set out late one Sundaymorning, Sethe leading, the girls trotting behind, not a soul in sight.

噢我的子民，他們不愛你的雙手。他們只將它們奴役、捆綁、砍斷，讓它們一無所獲。愛你的手吧!熱愛它們。舉起它們，親吻它們。用它們去撫摸別人，讓它們相互拍打，讓它們拍打你的臉，因爲他們不愛你的臉。
你得去愛它，你！不，他們也不愛你的嘴。那邊，遠在那邊，他們看見它流血還要在傷口上再戳一刀。他們不關心你嘴裏說出些什麼。他們聽不見你嘴裏尖叫的聲音。他們會奪去你吃進嘴裏滋養身體的東西而代之以渣滓。不，他們不愛你的嘴。你得去愛它。我在這裏談的是肉體。需要人愛的肉體。需要休息和跳舞的腳；需要支撐的後背；需要臂膊的肩膀，我說的是結實的臂膊。噢我的子民，遠在那邊，聽我說，他們不愛你不帶絞索的挺直的脖子，所以愛你的脖子吧；把一隻手放上去，給它增色，拍打它，把它扶正。還有你所有的內臟，他們會一股腦扔給豬吃，你得去愛它們。深色的、深色的肝———愛它，愛它，還有怦怦跳動的心，也愛它。比眼睛比腳更熱愛。
比呼吸自由空氣的肺更熱愛。比你保存生命的子宮和你創造生命的私處更熱愛。現在聽我說，愛你的心。因爲這纔是價值所在。”然後，她不再多說一句，站起身，用扭動的臀部舞出她的心想說的其他部位，大家張開嘴爲她伴奏。悠長的曲調持續着，直到四部和聲完美得足以同他們深愛的肉體相匹配。
現在塞絲想去那裏。至少去聆聽那久遠的歌聲留在身後的餘韻。多則呢，她想從她丈夫死去的母親那裏得到一個線索，問問她現在該拿她的劍和盾怎麼辦。親愛的耶穌啊，自從聖貝比·薩格斯露出騙子本色，丟棄了她那顆偉大的心臟，躺在起居室的牀上，僅僅出於對顏色的渴望纔不時醒來一回，到現在已經整整九年了。
“那些白鬼奪走了我擁有和夢想的一切，”她說，“還扯斷了我的心絃。這個世界上除了白人沒有別的不幸。”124號關上了門，去忍受那鬼魂的胡作非爲。再沒有燈火通明，沒有鄰居來訪。沒有晚飯後低聲的談話。沒有人在那兒看光腳丫的孩子們穿着陌生人的鞋子玩耍。聖貝比·薩格斯認定，是她自己撒了謊。恩賜根本不存在———不論想象的還是真實的———而“林間空地”上陽光中的舞蹈絲毫不能改變這個事實。她的忠誠、她的愛、她的想像力和她那顆偉大的大心，在她的兒媳婦到來之後的第二十八天開始崩潰。
然而塞絲還是決定到“林間空地”上去———去祭奠黑爾。在真相曝光之前，那裏一直是她記憶中的綠色聖地：植物的蒸汽和莓子的腐敗氣味瀰漫其上。
她披上披肩，又讓丹芙和寵兒也一樣披上。三個人在一個星期六的早晨出門了，塞絲領頭，姑娘們緊隨其後，視野中不見一個人影。