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![開心一笑:錯獻殷勤 Not Funny]()
Atadinnerpartyashyyoungmanhadbeentryingtothinkofsomethingnicetosaytohishostess.在一次晚餐聚會上，一位靦腆的年輕人一直在冥思苦想對女主人說一些好聽的話。Atlasthesawhischancewhensheturnedtohimandremarked,"......
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![開心一笑:承諾的結果 The consequences大綱]()
Father:Ipromisedtobuyyouacarifyoupassedyourexamination,andyouhavefailed.Whatwereyoudoinglastterm?父親：我曾向你許諾，如果你考試及格就給你買倆小汽車，可你卻未能做到。你上學期一直在幹什麼呀？Son:Iwaslearningtod......
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![開心一笑:投票結果是10比1]()
我本來是準備早起去跑步的，但是我的腳趾頭投票反對我，投票結果是10:1。......
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![開心一笑:它們也不敢吭一聲]()
Amanwastellinghisfriends,"Whenmywifeisinfuriated,shestartsshoutingatme,mychildrenandevenatourdogsandnobodydarestoanswerher."Oneofhisfriendsasked."Andwhenyouareangry,whatdoyoudo?"Themanreplied,"Ia......
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![開心一笑:小學生的邏輯推理]()
Afourth-gradeteacherwasgivingherpupilsalessononlogic."Hereisthesituation,"shesaid."amanisstandingupinaboatinthemiddleofariver,fishing.Heloseshisbalance,fallsin,andbeginssplashingandyellingforhelp.Hisw......
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![開心一笑:我們是試用版]()
別指望小孩子完美。我們是試用版！......
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![開心一笑:不能回答的問題]()
Thisstoryistoldofabrowbeatingcounsel，whohabituallyendeavoredtoterrorizehisopponent'switnesses.這個故事講的是一個咄咄逼人的辯護律師，他慣於儘量去恐嚇對方的證人。Onewitnessrathertendedtoprefacehisrepli......
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![開心一笑:什麼都有,你要買什麼?]()
Astoremanagerheardaclerktellacustomer.No,ma'am,wehaven'thadanyforawhile,anditdoesn'tlookasifwe'llbegettingsoon.一個商店經理聽見一個店員對顧客說：不，夫人，這會兒沒有，一時半會兒看來也不會有。H......
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![開心一笑:你爸爸幫你做作業了嗎?]()
Oneday,Tim'smathematicsteacherlookedathishomeworkandsawthathehadgotallhissumsright.一天，蒂姆的數學老師看了他的作業，發現他全做對了。Theteacherwasverypleasedandrathersurprised.老師很高興，同時也十分驚訝......
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![開心一笑: A Careless Barber 催命理髮員]()
Barber:Wereyouwearingaredscarfwhenyoucamein?理髮員：你進來時是不是繫着紅圍巾？Customer:No.顧客：沒有呀。Barber:Oh,thenImusthavecutyourthroat.理髮員：噢，那我肯定弄破了你的喉嚨。......
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![開心一笑:買貓保險的原因]()
你的主人們把你當寵物養是爲了減少壓力，如果你不能爲主人減少壓力，那麼你會被控告玩忽職守，這就是你爲什麼要買貓保險的原因。......
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![開心一笑: 如此增加運動量]()
醫生讓我先生每天要做雙倍的運動，所以他現在用兩隻手換電視頻道。......
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![開心一笑:吹牛大賽 比父母]()
AnArmybratwasboastingabouthisfathertoaNavybrat."Mydadisanengineer.Hecandoeverything.DoyouknowtheAlps?""Yes,"saidtheNavybrat."Mydadhasbuiltthem."Thenthenavalkidspoke:"AnddoyouknowtheDeadSea?""......
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![開心一笑:我的病就是什麼]()
Asenileactresswenttoseeadoctor.Thedoctorenquired:“Howoldareyou?”Theactresssaid:“Twenty-two.”Sothedoctorscribbleddownonhercasehistory:“Amnesia.”一個徐娘半老的女演員去看醫生，醫生問：“您的年齡？”女演......
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![開心一笑:那個"甜嘴"老公的真相]()
Berniewasinvitedtohisfriend'shomefordinner.Morris,thehost,precededeveryrequesttohiswifebyendearingterms,callingherHoney,MyLove,Darling,Sweetheart,etc.伯尼被邀請到朋友家吃晚餐。莫里斯，也是請客的主人......
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![開心一笑:新西蘭的氣候是什麼樣的?]()
TheClimateofNewZealandTeacher:Matthew,whatistheclimateofNewZealand?Matthew:VeryCold,sir.Teacher:Wrong.Matthew:But,sir!Whentheysendusmeatitalwaysarrivesfrozen!新西蘭的氣候老師：馬修，新西蘭的氣候怎麼樣？馬修......
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![開心一笑:我充當了右腿的角色]()
TheRightLegProctor(exceedinglyangry):"Soyouconfessthatthisunfortunatefreshmanwaskickedtothisfrogpondanddrenched？Nowwhatpartdidyoutakeinthisdisgracefulaffair?"Soph.(meekly):"Therightleg,sir."學監（非常生......
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![開心一笑:停止抱怨吧]()
停止抱怨吧——告事帖聯絡部副總裁是很重要的職位！......
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![開心一笑:羅浮宮着火,先救哪幅畫?]()
Anewspaperorganizedacontestforthebestanswertothequestion:"IfafirebrokeoutintheLouvre,andifyoucouldonlysaveonepainting,whichonewouldyoucarryout?"一份報紙組織了一場競賽，爲下面的問題徵集最佳答案：“如果盧浮......
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![開心一笑:誰在打架? Who was fighting?]()
Whowasfighting?誰在打架？Mother:Freddie,whyisyourfacesored?Freddie:Iwasrunningupthestreettostopafight.Mother:That'saverynicethingtodo.Whowasfighting?Freddie:MeandJackieSmith.媽媽：弗雷迪，你的臉爲什麼那......
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![開心一笑:方向盤,剎車被盜了!]()
Adrunkphonedpolicetoreportthatthieveshadbeeninhiscar."They'vestolenthedashboard,thesteeringwheel,eventhebrakepedal!"hecriedout.However,beforethepoliceinvestigationcouldstart,thephonerangasecondtim......
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![開心一笑:太黑了,我看不見]()
Aftersupper,theparentswerebusyplayingmah-jongwiththeguests.AtthispointthemotherthoughtofsomethingandsaidtohersonwhowaswatchingTV,"Honey,goseeifthekitchenlightisonornot?"Afterawhile,hersonreturnedandsa......
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![開心一笑:承諾的結果 The consequences]()
Father:Ipromisedtobuyyouacarifyoupassedyourexamination,andyouhavefailed.Whatwereyoudoinglastterm?父親：我曾向你許諾，如果你考試及格就給你買倆小汽車，可你卻未能做到。你上學期一直在幹什麼呀？Son:Iwaslearningtod......
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![開心一笑:期待機遇來敲門]()
Opportunitypagedme,beepedme,linkedme,e-mailedme,faxedme,andspammedme.ButIwasexpectingittoknock!機遇曾招呼我，它嘟嘟地叫我，聯繫我，給我發郵件和發傳真，還發給我垃圾郵件。而我卻一直在期待它來敲門!......
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![開心一笑:一個小女孩的願望]()
AGirl'sWishOnthewayhomeafterwatchingaballetperformance,thekindergartenteacheraskedherstudentswhattheythoughtofit.Thesmallestgirlintheclasssaidshewishedthedancersweretallersothattheywouldnothavetos......
